


Out Of the Loop

by TeslaInMyPocket



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Gen, Jessica POV from entry #28 to #87, Tim and Jessica Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:02:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2047164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeslaInMyPocket/pseuds/TeslaInMyPocket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica. Her side of the story, from the time she wakes up in the hotel as Jay's neighbor to the last time she sees Tim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out Of the Loop

"I think I'm going crazy…I'm losing HUGE chunks of time! Having pounding headaches and coughing fits and… I can't sleep. And when I do sleep, I think I'm sleep walking! And I keep having these dreams where I'm a little kid… and someone is watching me.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessica doesn’t know who the man in the room next door is.

Or, rather, she doesn’t think she knows who the man in the room next door is. Jay, whose too-large eyes and nervous gestures remind her of a time and place that she doesn’t quite remember. She’s sure she knows him, but the familiarity in his face refuses to connect itself to an actual event in her life.

She doesn’t want to tell him that she doesn’t remember how she got to the hotel, or where she lives. She doesn’t want to tell him that she doesn’t remember if she’s from here or not, or if she has brother or sisters or a family at all. She doesn’t want to tell him that she’s scared.

So she swallows his mumbled, sloppy lies of hotel documentaries and house renovations, and ignores the fact that she has an adjoining room with a half remembered stranger for a little while longer and waits for things to fall into place.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ibuprofen doesn’t even touch the headache she has.

The mercifully thick hotel curtains are pulled as tightly shut as possible, folded onto the window sill to block out as much of the outside light as possible, Jessica has plunged the room into the closest thing to total darkness as she can get.

It isn’t enough, though. Not even close.

She wants to get water, but any movement at all is impossible. Her skull is splitting open and Jessica wants to check her head for the signs of slick, wet blood that should be accompanying this pain, only she can’t quite make her hand move. 

Next door, Jay is watching something. Jessica can hear the audio, leaking in through the door that they share. It’s the same audio, Jessica decides, looping over and over, like Jay thinks listening to it over and over will give him answers.

With a shaking hand, Jessica pulls the hotel sheets tighter around herself, shivering from pain and the chill that has settled in the room. Jessica isn’t sure if the window is open or not. She doesn’t remember opening it, though, she doesn’t remember much. She can’t shake the feeling that, in the dark room, she isn’t completely alone.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jess!” her mother shouts, from somewhere in the house. “One minute, Mom!” Jessica shouts back, laying the coloured pencil she had been using down next to the drawing. Getting up off the floor, she leaves her room, floor unnaturally spotless and clean. The hallway is longer than she remembers, and Jessica trails her fingers along the wall as she walks. 

Her mother is not in the living room, nor the kitchen, as Jessica had assumed she would be. No one is home. “Mom? Dad?” she calls out, the silence that greets her call ringing, growing louder and louder until it is deafening. 

But she is not alone.

The hallway, long and dark, stretches on between Jessica and her room. It is darker than before. She doesn’t dare to call out. She knows what is in the house, in her room. 

Yet she walks forward anyway, down the hall. She places a hand on the door frame and steps inside. 

It is in the corner.

Jessica awakes with a start, cold sweat beaded on her forehead and making her shirt cling to her back. The light of the lamp on her nightstand that she rushes to turn on proves to her that she is alone in this room.

Next door, Jay has begun to loop another video.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A knock on the door.

Jessica knows who it is, knows it’s exactly the only person it could be. They’re the only ones in the hotel and is she really the only one who finds that suspicious?

She opens the door, to Jay with his ever-increasing dark circles and camera, clutched to his chest like a barrier. 

“What do you want?” she spits, wanting to shut the door again already.  
“Um…” he stutters, taken aback. Good. “Nothing, well, okay, this may sound weird, but do you know anything about the parks around here?”

Of all of the things Jay could ask about. Not the coughing, or their rooms. For a moment, Jessica wants to tell him that she has no idea about parks, because she has no idea where here is.

“Parks?” she questions, “Yeah.” Jay replies, as if the question is a normal one.

Jessica tries to give him a normal reply. “I mean, there’s a few of them. Any in particular?”

“Uh...the one..that’s off of, oh, what’s the road? It’s called Rosswood Road, I think.” God, he looks tired.

“I don’t know.” she says, because she doesn’t. “No, wait, it’s actually called Rosswood Park. It’s pretty big...have you heard of it?” Jay continues, anxiously shifting his weight, like this is a conversation he has been planning, but not like this. "I mean, I may have been there as a kid, but nothing comes to mind." Jessica says, not exactly lying. “Nothing at all?” Jay persists. “No. Why are you asking?” Who the hell knocks on your door to ask about parks? "I'm-I'm Just curious. I mean, I just got here so I'm looking for a good area to look for an apartment or something." Jay says, another mumbled lie. 

Jessica refuses to buy it this time. 

“Just got here?” she questions, and she can tell he’s stumbling to find words. “Yeah, my job relocated me and now I’m just look for a-” 

No. Wrong.

“No. You told me your house was being renovated.” And that you were filming a documentary on hotels, but she doesn’t say that. 

“No I didn’t. Why would I say that?” Because you’re too tired to keep track of your lies, Jessica doesn’t say. “Yes, you did.” she says instead. “No, I….. You must have misheard me, or something.” Jay trails off.

“No, I didn’t.” 

"Nevermind, uh, I'm sorry. I'm obviously bothering you. I'm just going to go back to my room." Jay says, turning to scuttle away to his room and ignore his problems.

“Hey.” Jessica calls, stopping him. “What?” Jay replies, turning the camera back, never missing a moment. “Have you been feeling alright?” Now it’s her turn to start a planned conversation. 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Nothing’s up?” Jessica persists. She just needs him to say it. “I mean, I haven't been sleeping that well, but I never sleep when I'm in hotels." he says, looking just beyond her. "You haven't been having any kind of, like, memory loss or anything, have you?" Jessica asks, the words coming out fast and forced. She just needs him to say it. 

“No.”

“Alright.”

Closing her door, Jessica wonders how many times Jay will watch that tape.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The blood that Jessica coughs up fascinates her, captures her attention for several minutes as she watches it begin to dry on the white porcelain of the bathroom sink. The gaudy colour of it, as it soaks into the sharp contrast of the toilet paper she uses to cover her lips. It’s hard not to stare.

She knows Jay is coughing too, she can hear it. The walls are thin. How much blood can his undernourished body afford to lose, she wonders. Jessica knows that they’re alike, in situation and symptoms. He just won’t say. His eyes are as hollow and dark as hers, she sees that, when they pass one another in the hall, or when he asks if she’s alright.

She’s not alright.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Phone number  
-Amy  
-Birthday  
-House (Appearance)  
-Name  
-Brian  
-  
-  
-

Jessica tries to make a list of the things she remembers, like having it written on paper will cement the precious few memories and ideas in her mind.

There are too many blank spots.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are bruises that she can’t explain, on her legs and arms. She wakes up with them, when she manages to close her eyes.

Things move in her room when she sleeps, little things and sometimes big things. She doesn’t remember doing it.

Jessica can’t explain how she doesn’t always wake up in her hotel room.

She wants an explanation, though.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Look, Jessica, um… I'll tell you everything, but… just… just give me a few minutes, to get it all straight in my head. I'll be in there soon. You should probably start packing some things, 'cause, I'm pretty sure were gonna have to leave here tonight."

About damn time.

Jessica puts on a small smile, and Jay returns it, eyes crinkling in the corners. 

“Leave your door open.”

She does, because she has to trust him. She has to.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s the cold that wakes her up. It has seeped through her light jacket, warm enough for her already drafty hotel room, but not for January nights in Rosswood. 

Jessica has woken up in places before, in her car, or around the hotel, but never in the woods. It takes her just moments to realize that she is not alone.

“What happened?” she asks, attempting to stand up. A warm hand is immediately on her back. Her eyes have not adjusted enough for her to see their face, but she can see the red recording light of the camera they are holding. Is her whole life on film?

Someone is coming towards them, flashlight precluding their presence in the woods. “Who is that?” she asks. A gloved hand is over her mouth in an instant and every fiber of her being wants to scream. Her eyes have adjusted.

The familiar face, whose name is not coming to her mind fast enough, removes his hand. He says nothing, making a small shushing’ sound, and holding a finger to her lips, the fabric brushing lightly against them. She understands, although he says nothing. There is a look in his eye that makes her think that she would be in more danger with the person with the flashlight.

The man (Brian? Maybe?) has a hood pulled over his head, properly dressed for the weather, Jessica thinks. He finds her arm in the dark, attempting to help her up. “It’s fine, I got it.” she protests, getting to her feet. He keeps a hold on her arm, leading her quietly down the trail.

“STOP!” the person carrying the flashlight yells. Jessica cannot see who they are, nor can she see much. The light is blinding. “Let her go.” the man says, shifting the focus of the flashlight to Brian, allowing her to see. 

The man with the flashlight also has a gun.

“NOW!” he shouts, and Brian squeezes her arm lightly before dropping his grip, and running.

The other man fires, and Jessica can’t help but scream. The sound is so close, and she runs too, the other man overtaking her, chasing after Brian and continuing to fire. Jessica drops to the forest floor, tucking her knees to her chest to avoid the seemingly haphazard shooting. 

Jessica begins to inch away,but the other man drops swiftly to his knees next to her, flashlight pointing down. “Jessica, Jessica. Calm down. It’s me, Alex.” he says, like that is supposed to mean something significant to her. “Amy’s boyfriend, do you remember?” he asks. She remembers Amy, but not him. But if he knows Amy… “Yeah, I remember Amy.” she says, her voice pitched and shaking. “Ok, good. I know everything is really confusing right now, but I’m gonna get you out of here. Just follow me.” he says, voice full of confident reassurance. “Okay…” Jessica says, no choice but to stand up with him and follow him. 

She’s willing to trust someone that Amy did.

But Brian, if that was Brian, has dropped his camera. Something tells her it might be important. Jay would think so. “No, this way.” Alex says. She had been walking away from him. “Deeper into the woods?” she asks. She assumes it is deeper in, anyway. “I know a shortcut. Come on.” he says, a hint of annoyance in his voice. Jessica picks the camera up. “What are you doing?” Alex questions, raising the flashlight. “The person who woke me up had this. It might have whatever’s going on somewhere on it.” she says, because it has to. There has to be answers somewhere. “Alright. We’ll look through it later but for now, we need to go.” Alex promises, finally prompting her to move.

“I don’t like being out here.” The cold has numbed her, and her flats are giving her a blister. The woods are eerily silent. “Trust me, neither do I, but we’re almost there.” he says, although Jessica thinks he seems perfectly at home. “What were you doing in the hotel anyway? Why didn’t you just go home?” 

Oh. Oh no. Something in his tone makes her want to drop her guard, though. So she does. 

“I can’t remember.” 

“Don’t remember what?”

“I can’t remember where I live. I know what the house looks like I just…” she trails off. She sounds crazy.

“Don’t remember how to get there.” Alex finishes for her. 

Oh.

“Yeah.”

“That’s okay, that can be fixed. Once we’re out of here, I’m gonna tell you everything.” Alex says and just for a moment, Jessica wants to demand he tell her now. But...there’s something in his tone. She can’t place it. “Okay… I’m confused, who was that back there?” she asks, because the farther away she gets from that interaction, the less confident she is that that was Brian. “The person in the brown hoody?” Alex asks. “Yeah, I didn’t get a good look at him.” Jessica lies back. “All you need to know is that’s somebody who wants to hurt both you and Jay.” 

There’s just..something in his tone. But she trusts him, because she has to.

Alex stops walking suddenly, gesturing for her to stop as well. “Hold on.” he says. “What is it?” Jessica asks, glancing around her. The camera offers only a limited view. “I think I heard something.” Alex says, “What? Like footsteps?” There is no one behind them, the camera proves that to Jessica. “I don’t know, maybe. Keep going.” Alex says. He still has the gun in his hand.

Jessica can see the extent of what they’re approaching in the night-vision of the camera. A drainage tunnel. The air wafting out of it is damp and cold. “We’re going around to the other side of this tunnel. Be careful on these rocks.” Alex says, shining the flashlight down to guide their steps towards the tunnel. Something about it awakens a sense of foreboding in Jessica. But going through it is surely safer than going around it, in the woods at night, right? And she has to trust Alex. She has to. 

“Here, take the flashlight and keep going ahead. I’m gonna make sure nobody’s following us.”

Alex has stopped now, looking behind himself anxiously. Jessica accepts the flashlight before she can process what he is saying. Alex’s voice echoes unnaturally in the tunnel.

“But, I, what?” Jessica stammers. She has seen horror films before. You don’t split up in the middle of the woods. 

“Just go ahead, I’m going to catch up with you on the other side. Go.” he says, gesturing with his hand to the opposite side of the tunnel.

Reluctantly, Jessica begins to walk forward, moving slowly so that she can meet Alex at the end of the tunnel, instead of arriving before him.

But if he were checking to see if someone was following them, why would he give her the flashlight?

“Do you see anything?” Jessica calls, voice distorted by the ribbed, metal roof above her. 

Silence.

“Alex?” Jessica calls, turning around.

The scene doesn’t quite register with Jessica’s brain, because it really doesn’t make sense. Her legs begin to remove her from the situation before she really sees that gun, glinting in the glare of the flashlight. 

“What are you doing?” Jessica questions, voice raised in fear and confusion.

He’s holding the gun with both hands, like he has never shot before. “It’s all Jay’s fault, Jessica. I’m sorry.” 

“No, Alex. Stop!” Just for a moment, Jessica thinks she can defuse the situation. She can stop this.

“It has to be done.” Alex says quickly, covering his eyes with the back of his hand and taking blind aim. 

Fight or flight kicks in and Jessica is back in self-defense class, 10th grade. She paid attention.

Alex is on the ground, and so is the gun. Without thinking, Jessica drops the flashlight, exchanging it for the gun. The camera stays clutched in her sweating hand.

Alex moans, attempting to stand. The knee that has recently met his groin keeps him from doing so. 

“STOP!” Jessica shouts, gun trained on him. She isn’t going to cover her eyes. Alex raises a hand, like it is going to shield him. “Jessica, hold on-” he begins, like he thinks this is something he can talk his way out of. “No! Shut up, stay right there!” she shouts, shaking with adrenaline. 

There is a sound behind her, and she can’t help but turn to look. The man in the tan hoody, whose name Jessica isn’t sure of, is running towards them. Jessica keeps the gun on Alex. Both of them are frozen for a moment, watching in mute shock at this unexpected scene. 

Underneath the hood, the man is wearing a mask now.

He is on Alex in a moment, tackling the already unbalanced man. Hesitating for a moment, Jessica drops the gun, picking up the flashlight once more and sprinting as fast as she can out of the tunnel, away from the two people who had brought her here in the first place.

It doesn’t take her long to become completely lost in the dark. All of the trees look the same and it is too quiet. Jessica thinks she may have found a trail, but it’s hard to tell. She stops running, to try to gather her bearings. 

There is something, someone, maybe, a dozen yards away in the woods. It’s neither Alex nor the man in the hoody, and Jessica is lost enough to call out. “Hey! Over here!”   
But the figure disappears in the woods.

It wouldn’t be the first hallucination.

Taking a wild left, Jessica tries to find a path again. 

The undergrowth thins out.

“Please help! I don’t know where I am!” 

Something else is in the clearing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jessica has no idea exactly how much time passes when she is gone.

She remembers the hotel, with Jay, and the headaches…

She remembers that it was January then.

But when she wakes up, in a different hotel room, it is December.

10 months gone. Completely.

There are no familiar faces in the room next door this time.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes her three months to do it. 

She’s found an apartment, ground floor, and a small job to occupy herself with. 

But the temptation of it is too much to bear.

There is a contact in her phone’s address book.

Jay.

Just the name and number, no other contact information.

Jessica calls it twice, getting voicemail each time.

The third ring picks up.

“Hello?” the voice on the other line says.

“Jay?” Jessica breaths, daring to hope.

“Who is this?” the voice, sounding less like Jay each moment, ask sharply.

“It’s...it’s Jessica”

There is silence on the other end of the line. Jessica can hear the other man breathing. Thinking.

“Hold on...can you...um..”

There is the sound of movement, of paper being moved around and laptop keys clicking.

“When was the last time you saw Jay?” he asks.

“Last January, in a hotel...who is this?” Jessica considers hanging up.

“I’m a friend of Jay’s. I’m with him. I’m Tim. Can I-”

There is a flurry of movement on the other end, and another voice.

“Can I call you back? I will call you back, okay?”

The line goes dead.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She agrees to meet him in a coffee shop near her apartment.

Jessica gets there twenty minutes early, finding a corner booth and watching the door, clutching a mug of coffee like a lifeline.

Tim is ten minutes late.

He looks tired and worn, and she has to wave her hand to flag him to her table.

“I’m sorry.” he says quietly, slipping into the seat across from her. “It’s just so hard to get away…” 

He does not purchase anything, although he looks like he could use a hot drink.

“Get away from what?” Jessica asks.

“Jay and I are very...busy.” he says, dodging the question.

“How is he? Jay?” Tim’s brow furrows minutely.

“We’re working very hard to try to find answers, Jessica.” 

“Why am I meeting you here and not Jay? No offense, but..wouldn’t it make more sense to, you know, meet someone I know?” 

Tim sighs quietly. “I’m sorry, Jessica. You have to trust me here. It’s for Jay’s safety. You, we’re all, involved in some pretty dangerous things.”

He pauses, to allow Jessica to question him, but she does not. He continues.

“You seem like you’re doing alright. So, it’s for your safety and Jay’s not to see each other.”

“What am I involved in, exactly?” Jessica questions.

Tim pauses in silence for several seconds, blinking slowly, “I’m sorry, Jessica.” he says softly.

Jessica looks down at her cooling coffee, letting silence settle between them. She uses the back of her hand to stifle a sudden cough. 

“Has that been happening a lot?” Tim asks, and Jessica looks up. He seems concerned.

“Yeah.”

“Have you been to a doctor?”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week later, Tim offers to drive her to a doctors appointment that he suggested she make.

The clinic, a mental health clinic, is excellent, Tim assures her.

The brick exterior, and not-yet-bloomed flowers don’t make it seem particularly inviting to Jessica, but Tim walks with her into the clinic, directing her to where she needs to go.

He has been here before, he says.

He waits for her in the lobby.

Jessica hates the pills, but they stop the coughing, and the headaches.

The doctor warns her about the side effects, and Tim informs her of a few more that developed for him. 

Things calm down.

Jessica sleeps.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Hope you’re doing alright.’ Jessica types the text out quickly, sending it to the number with the contact name ‘Tim’ in her phone.

He doesn’t reply until late in the evening, when he’s away from Jay. Or maybe Jay is asleep.

‘We’re fine. How are you?’ he replies

‘I’m fine too.’

‘Good.’

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are long stretches of silence between her contacts with Tim.

Jessica tries not to let it bother her, or worry.

She’s doing well in her job, and her doctors visits are regular and helpful.

Tim mentioned that Jay was sick in June. His texts were more frequent that month, giving just as much specific information as always, which is to say, none at all.

Jessica hasn’t heard from him since July.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone is knocking at her door. Rolling over, Jessica checks her cellphone. It’s just past 6 AM.

“ONE MINUTE!” she yells at the insistent knocking, scrambling to throw on some clothes that are suitable to answer the door in.

Peering through the peephole on her front door, she isn’t sure she’s seeing correctly. “Tim?” she questions, already unlocking the door. 

There he is, standing on her front porch, shifting his weight rapidly on his feet and breathing hard. 

“Can I come in?” he asks. His voice is raw and quiet.

“Yeah, yeah, sure!” Jessica says quickly, opening the door and gesturing him in. He stumbles into her living room, like he’s surprised she let him in at all, and stands awkwardly at its center, hand on the back of his neck, glancing around the room.

“You can sit down. I’ll, um, go make coffee. I usually have some made, but it’s a little early.” she says, hoping the last bit didn’t sound quite as bitter to Tim as it did to her. She hadn’t meant it to.

Tim says nothing, instead sitting himself down on her couch and folding his hands on his knees. 

Jessica lingers in the kitchen, moving between the doorway and the coffee pot. She is unsure of what to say to Tim, of what questions to ask. This visit is too bizarre to process for her, at least, not until the coffee perks. It’s taking an agonizingly long time. Jessica makes a quick call to her boss, calling in sick for the day. She doesn’t mind taking the day off, and it looks like Tim needs her.

She carries two mugs into the living room, setting one gently down on the coffee table in front of Tim. She places herself in an armchair a few feet away, angling her body to face Tim. He hasn’t looked up at her. His breathing has calmed somewhat, from when he first entered her apartment. Jessica takes that as a sign of improvement.

“Hey…..are you alright, Tim?” she asks, finally, uncomfortable with the silence.

Tim drags his eyes upwards, and they blearily search the room until they find the source of the words. Jessica can see that Tim has been crying. 

“Sorry about this.” he mutters, rubbing his face with his palms. That doesn’t answer Jessica’s question, but she’s willing to let him talk.

“Where’s Jay…?” Jessica asks softly, leaning forward, clutching her mug in her hand. Tim is shaking.

“We….we had a sort of falling-out. He...we both ended up looking around this college, for Alex. Because we thought he would be there, but…” Tim pauses inhaling sharply. He hasn’t looked up at her once in his story, his eyes focusing on the living room carpet. 

“Where’s Jay?” Jessica asks again, worried now. Tim’s pants are dusty, and it looks like he hasn’t slept in days. 

“We had a fight… But he’s back at the hotel now.” Tim says, his tone changing tone rapidly. He says this firmly, looking at Jessia now. She nods, because that’s all she can do. She isn’t sure what else to say. 

“Did you find Alex?”

Tim shakes his head. He looks so numb, and his eyes are vacant. But Jessica swallows his lie, because she trusts Tim. He has helped her so much, and Jay.. 

“Are you and Jay alright?” 

Tim’s face contorts, just for a moment, into a mix of emotions that Jessica can’t read. “Yeah.” he says, his voice strangled and small. He clears his throat before continuing. “Jay’s fine. I’m fine. I just wanted some...some time out of the hotel. And I wanted to make sure that you’re doing alright. It looks like you are.” 

“I am. Everything’s fine, here. I’ve been seeing the doctor, and the headaches have stopped. They haven’t changed my dosage recently, so that’s good. I’m getting used to the side effects with this one…” Jessica feels like she’s talking to thin air. Tim’s attention has drifted somewhere else, although he still looks at her. He notices that she has stopped speaking a few moments after the fact. “That’s good to hear.” he says, managing a small smile.

He hasn’t touched his coffee.

Tim glances around the living room, eyes settling on the wall-mount clock. “Oh, oh my god. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was this early.. I should go.” he rises quickly, bumping the coffee table with his shin. “Tim, it’s fine!” Jessica says, rising too. “I called into work, so you can stay as long as you like. Honestly. You look horrible…” 

“You didn’t have to call in, you really didn’t.”

“Well, I did.”

Tim sighs once more, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. “I should go.” he repeats, moving towards the door. “Thank you, and...sorry about this.” 

“Please text more often.” Jessica says quietly, opening the door for him. “I will.” he says simply. 

“Be safe.” she calls after him as he walks quickly towards his car door. “You too.” he replies. He sounds like he is crying. He pulls out of the parking lot quickly, headlights on in the still-dark morning. 

Jessica notices, for the first time, how cold it is. December. She closes the door when she can no longer see Tim’s taillights.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Hey. How are you?’

‘Hope you’re well’

‘Merry Christmas’

‘2014 now. Hope you and Jay are doing okay.’

‘More headaches.’

‘They upped my dosage’

‘Hope you two are safe.’

Jessica sends a text, every few weeks or so, when the thought to do so crosses her mind. 

Tim doesn’t reply until April.

‘Jay and I are fine. Been busy. More tapes’

‘You took your time.’ Jessica texts back, allowing herself to be angry for a few moments. ‘Anything useful/important?’ she adds

‘No.’

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Sorry to bother you, but can I stop by later today and use your washing machine?’

The text is unexpected, and Jessica isn’t quite sure how to respond to it for a few moments. 

‘Of course’

Tim knows her work schedule, Jessica knows that. She doesn’t bother to take the day off. 

He shows up around 4:30 with a duffel bag, looking horribly care worn and dirty, like he hasn’t slept or bathed in days. 

“I’m sorry about this, I just… you know how expensive laundromats are.” he says, shifting his weight nervously around, holding the bag in front of him like a shield. 

Jessica shows him to her laundry room, leaving him alone to put his clothes into the washing machine. She makes a trip to her own room, finding an old college t-shirt that is a few sizes too large on her in the back of her closet. She returns to the laundry room, tossing it to Tim, who nods gratefully. She isn’t sure what to say, or what questions to ask, so she returns to the living room and waits for Tim to do the same.

Tim takes his time, Jessica can hear him picking his way slowly down the hallway. “Sorry about the pants.” she says, “I don’t know if you would fit into mine.” Tim laughs, but it sounds forced. He perches himself on the edge of her arm chair, hands folded in his lap. The t-shirt Jessica lent him hangs loosely on his body. “Would you like anything?” Jessica asks, standing up. Tim shakes his head, not meeting her eye. “No thank you.”

When Jessica returns from the kitchen, she drops a bottle of water and fork in his lap and sits a tupperware container full of microwaved spaghetti on the coffee table in front of him. “I’ll send one back for Jay with you.” she says, and Tim smiles in a strained way, picking the container up. “He has his own apartment now, actually.” he says, turning the for over in his hand. “So he’s doing better?” Jessica asks. Tim nods, staring down at his food.

Tim leaves the living room only twice more, once to take a shower, after prompting, and to transfer his clothes from the washing machine to the dryer. Jessica, to avoid making him talk, turns the TV on to some news channel, which they both watch without really listening to, each in their own thoughts.

Jessica wants to ask more about Jay, and why they can’t afford to wash their clothes. She wants to ask about Alex and the tapes Tim told her that they had found. But Tim looks like he might bolt out the door if she talks too much, so she lets the questions hang in the air, unspoken. 

From the laundry room, the buzzer on the dryer goes off, obnoxiously loud. Tim springs up, scurrying off to take his clothes from the dryer. Jessica stands up. “Keep the shirt!” she shouts down the hall, before walking into the kitchen to gather more food to give to Tim. 

Tim reenters the living room, wearing a still dryer-warm shirt and jeans. “Here.” Jessica says, holding out an armful of food. Another tupperware container of pasta, an unopened box of granola bars purchased the day previous, and a bag of navel oranges, among other things. “I can’t take that.” Tim says, shaking his head. Jessica stares him down until he takes the food from her, and she watches as he puts them into the duffel bag.

“Thank you.” Tim says, hand on the doorknob. 

“Any time, Tim. Honestly.”

Tim nods, opening the door.

“Keep in touch, and tell Jay I said hello!” she calls after his retreating back.

Jessica finds the college t-shirt folded up, neatly, on top of the washing machine.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey.”

Jessica looks up from her purse, at the familiar voice.

Her appointment had gone well, or, as well as they always went. She hadn’t expected to see Tim here, in the parking lot. She hasn’t heard from him since April.

“Hey.”

“You doing okay? I haven’t been around in a while..” he asks, and Jessica notices the camera in his hand. That’s the first time she has seen him with it, but she doesn’t question it.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jessica says, finding her keys, “They’ve got me on a new prescription, so I’m sleeping better.”

“That’s good.” Tim says, nodding.

“I mean, not great, but some.” Jessica can’t remember the last time she had a full nights sleep, and from the looks of Tim, neither can he.

“Side effects?” 

“The ones you told me about, yeah.” Jessica says, smiling a bit. Tim had warned her about every medication she had taken.

“I wish I could tell you they went away after a while, but…”

“It’s fine.”

“You still carry those around everywhere?” Jessica asks, acknowledging the camera. “Yeah...well...this one’s Jay’s, but he let me have it.” Tim says, frowning down at the camera in his hands. “How is he?” Jessica questions, half expecting Tim not to respond. “He moved.” the answer is unexpected, but Jessica can see it. It’s not surprising. “I think he was finally starting to get over all of this and I think he just wanted to, uh…” 

“Start somewhere new.” Jessica finished for him, nodding. “Yeah.” 

“I was hoping I would get to meet him, since you said he goes here too, but..” 

“I guess the appointment times didn’t match up.”

Tim coughs into the back of his hand before continuing. “That’s actually kinda why I wanted to stop by. I wanted to let you know that I’m gonna be leaving too.”

“What, this doctor?”

“Just, this area in general.”

“Oh…” Jessica says, shocked. She glances down at the camera in Tim’s hands, and notices that she can see herself in the lenses reflection.

Tim coughs again, “That’s why I wanted to stop by, to let you know that this is probably the last time I’ll be around, so..” 

Jessica pulls her hair out of her face, unsure of what to say. She wasn’t aware how much she relied on the occasional visits from Tim until now.

“Sorry.” Tim says, coughing once again, “You said you are doing okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Jessica isn’t sure Tim hears that, though, as he coughs again. “Just remember everything I told you about-” his words are cut off by a violent coughing fit. “Are you okay?” Jessica asks, as Tim drops to his knees in the parking lot. He nods, but he doesn’t stop coughing. “Tim? TIM! Are you sure? Do I need to call somebody?” Jessica asks, trying not to panic as she drops to her knees as well, placing a hand on Tim’s back. 

Jessica sits with Tim, on the hot asphalt of the parking lot, until he is able to breathe again. “Thanks.” he says weakly, a corner of his mouth twitching upwards in a brief smile. “Are you sure you don’t want me to call someone?” she asks. Tim shakes his head, getting up shakily. 

“Tim.” Jessica says firmly, standing up as well. “I’m fine, I promise.” Tim says, waving her off. Not convinced, but not wanting to push Tim further, Jessica nods. “Fine.” 

“I’ll text you, okay?” Tim says, walking back towards his car. “Please do.” she says, although something tell her he won’t. She doubts his number will be in service within a week. But she doesn’t say that.

“Be safe, Jess.” Tim says, opening his car door. He looks so tired.

“You too, Tim.”

**Author's Note:**

> This took me so long. So so long. Over a month. This wasn't supposed to be this long, it started out as a short fic, but then this happened and ugh. Whatever. I had to research DATES for this fic and that kills me on the inside. This wasn't even a labor of love. I hate this fic with all my being. It tormented me for weeks. So here it is. You finished it, or skipped ahead to read this note, or just skipped to the end because you got bored of reading it. I don't usually leave long notes at the end. This is odd for me to do. This fic just pissed me off apparently. Let this be a lesson to you; never bite off more than you can chew.


End file.
